Where we are now (and what’s next)
This week marked a significant point in our journey. It was the first time Michael had to return to the States, leaving Stephanie and Colby in Plymouth.
While we are not sure what to label “The Original Plan,” from fairly early on, the plan has been (and currently remains) for Michael to return to Colby’s for about a week each month. What we (or at least Michael) did not properly appreciate is that a week – unguarded – becomes two, which is almost half of the time.
As seductive as it can be to live a life that feels like the two of us on a grand adventure, we still have families and other events, some of which need tending to and some of which are simply enticing. This June’s “week” at Colby’s has turned into a solid 15 days away from Stephanie. Flying to the States takes a full day (about 25 hours of travel, but daylight follows) and returning takes two (fewer hours, but time zones are against us). This should improve when we’re in Paris, because we cut out a couple train rides to get to the airport, but still… Then, Michael is visiting our daughters to check in on them and because we miss them. Finally, in order to minimize his American Airlines Advantage Points, Michael will be at Colby’s for nine days instead of a week.
All of these calculations also call into question whether a “week” is five or seven days, and does it cover travel time. Michael had assumed that he would travel for two days and work for five, and assumed the travel would happen on weekends and work would be on weekdays, but is quickly concluding those assumptions were naive.
And this is not just a “this time” issue. When Michael returns in August, he will need (and – to be clear – wants) to visit his 95-year-old mother in Massachusetts. Stephanie will also be coming to the States to help kids return to college, so we likely each will come for two weeks, overlapping our weeks as much as possible. We’ll board Colby for about a week, and likely only be together for about a week in the entire month.
Michael’s September visit coincides with the grand re-opening of Powell Symphony Hall in St. Louis. Michael grew up playing in Powell’s corridors with his brother and organizing ticket stubs in the box office, and then had his first symphony job there as a college student a dozen years later. It was also where his father worked for Michael’s first decade on this earth and his 85-year-old father is coming for the reopening and for the two of them to go canoeing together in the Ozarks for what might be the last time. All of this is a long way of saying that Michael will have another long stay in September.
Michael’s 40th high school reunion is in October (and he is leading the effort), so that will be another long stay. And November is Thanksgiving, though Stephanie will be coming with him for that trek, so we will not be apart (though Colby will need to stay behind).
Much of making the digital nomading work requires making the leap. It required selling our house and 80% of our belongings. It required being willing to be apart from our families (who were already embarking on their lives anyway). It required Michael figuring out what had to change at his business to make it work (Stephanie was way ahead of Michael in this area and her business was already fully remote). And now we have to contemplate further the extent to which we need to minimize our US relationships.
Perhaps Michael needs to say “no” to future equivalents to high school reunions and major moment for organizations about which he cares deeply. Maybe it also requires seeing aging parents less frequently.
And the issue goes beyond decisions that might extend time away from Europe. The last time Michael was in town, he tried to see many of his family, friends, peers and mentors, but those breakfasts, lunches and dinners pulled him away from his business; despite the fact that one week already feels like it is a difficultly short amount of time to spend at Colby’s each month, and trying to do everything to which he committed was truly exhausting. Perhaps he will need to become more disciplined about staying focused on work during his time at Colby’s.
The answers to these questions are not clear but need to be contemplated. Every decision has a price, and we need to be sure we are making our decisions thoughtfully and strategically, with full pondering on both the intended and unintended costs.
Digit Nomad Life & Learnings
One learning we are facing now is that, after having spent a month in virtually constant contact – morning French class together, walking to work together, working side-by-side all day, walking home and cooking together, running errands together, going down to a point where most thoughts are shared as they are born and develop through the sharing, having one of us leave town adds an awkwardness to thinking and thoughts feel emptier. This is the sort of soft concept that feels strange to add to the blog, but it is a real part of the life into which we have jumped and is important to share.
Funny & unexpected moments
Not sure we have too much to offer on the “funny and unexpected” front this week – here are a few items from Stephanie:
Colby is a great way to meet people, of all ages and all over. Stephanie and Colby have developed a lovely relationship to an unhoused gentleman in Plymouth, an impressively positive and sweet man we tend to run into in different spots around the Barbican, who remembers and loves Colby (and to whom she is “boxer mom” or “Mrs. boxer”). Colby and Stephanie repeated the hike from the prior weekend, and he stayed waaaayyy away from the drinking cistern he fell in the prior week! Good thing for everyone involved!
Photo & video gallery
From fishmonger (who is gutting and filleting my fresh fish) to plate (yum, super fresh sea bass!)
If you look carefully you can see the ramp from the ferry Colby and Stephanie took from the Barbican to Cawsand. It’s about 12 inches wide, rickety, the last few feet are underwater and Colby did NOT want to get on it. Stephanie had to manhandle him onto the ramp, and her success was much to everyone’s surprise!
These are the super cute flowers that grow out of cracks and crevices everywhere. And this is Colby, missing Michael (yup, we know where his loyalties lie.)